The first day on the job,
I wait in the meeting room reading Anna Karenina.
The tour happens painfully,
miserable people look up from their desks and smile.
(I can’t remember names)
she found her son dead in their bathroom three years ago.
This is – and her husband left her for her best friend
This is- and he has a drinking problem, and he takes a lot of holidays to Indonesia.
I look around the office and smile back at them.
The night feels like a hot bath
the people are ugly now. Twenty years ago many were beautiful.
Everyone is angry.
Nothing is true.
The fear is to be felt most keenly
As the years pass and begin to pass quicker still,
A fear of opening the front door one day
And stepping into a quiet hall
‘I am alone.’
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